HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
What a glorious day it is … and to celebrate such amazing women in our lives!
There are many things that I want to get across in this episode, so please bear with me.
First and foremost, I would like to give a special Happy Mother’s Day to my own Mom! There is not enough time or words to express my gratitude and love for you. Per my card and our almost daily chats … you know that I am Sorry, I am Thankful and that I Love You So Much!
Next, I want to say that it is an honor to be a mother and I don’t take this privilege lightly. You can ask my kids … I’m constantly reminding them that part of my job as their mother is to make sure that they are a positive, productive part of society. Ha Ha.
On that note, I want to say that it takes more than one woman or one person to shape us into who we are. I was blessed with amazing Grandmothers and Aunts that, along with my mother, helped shape me into who I am today and likewise, Beau and Heather Grace have an abundance of loving and supportive women in their corner – each of them bringing something unique and special to the table.
BUT … there is no one like our Mother’s. And there is nothing like a Mother’s love – which I never understood until I became a mother myself.
That first breath, that first touch, that first anything … as a Mom, you are ready to die for your child so they can live. Your heart will forever beat on the outside of your body and you will never have a day without worry.
And I’m going to go ahead and say this here … I am so sorry if you’ve wanted to be a mother, but have been unable to do so. Infertility, miscarriage, late term miscarriage and stillborn births are heart breaking and turn your world upside down, and I am so sorry. While I do have two healthy children, it has not been an easy road and have had miscarriages, so please know that I see you and that I know how hard today can be even though you want to celebrate your Mom, you are also mourning your loss. Completely understandable.
And, for all of you that have lost your mother’s, I am so sorry. I know that today and everyday must be extremely difficult for you … I am thinking of you as well.
And for those of you that have become “mothers” to the motherless – THANK YOU! You are a true hero and will be such a guiding light for the children that you are raising. Sometimes a mothers’ best decision for their child can also be their hardest, but as long as the child’s needs and safety are first – that is what makes a great mother, whether you are raising them or blessed another family to raise them.
Shew … now that I’ve gotten all deep on us, let’s bring it back!
MOMs …. They are a class all their own and each of us different as well!
There are a million parenting handbooks out there, but let me tell you why none of them are right for you … because every parent, every child and every situation is different! If motherhood has taught me anything … it is that everything is not always black and white – there are many gray areas and that is some of the most important Mommying you will do! The gray areas!
Yes, we teach our kids to follow the rules, don’t break the law, be kind to others and always do your best – BUT, what happens when they don’t. And just so you know – they will not follow all the rules, could possibly break the law, they will not always be kind to others (think middle and high school days) and sometimes they will not care to do their best – NO MATTER HOW GOOD OF A MOM and PARENT YOU ARE! So what do you do?
This is where the real parenting comes in … not – bedtime is at 8:30pm or eat your vegetables …. While those are probably important, what your child does when they “mess up” is going to define your relationship with them. Unfortunately, there has been gray in my growing up years and in my Mommying years. I can tell you that some of the greatest lessons I learned from my Mother were in those gray moments and how was she going to react or deal with what I may have done or said.
For example … I remember one time when I was a teenager and I definitely had a chip on my shoulders – I smarted off to her and she just slapped me right across the face! I couldn’t believe it! I was stunned, shocked and it definitely stung … but … I also grew respect for her that day and also realized where the line to cross was with her. Another example was when I came to her and had to tell her that I was pregnant at the age of 20 – not married, not finished with school, and the list goes on. This moment defined us as well … instead of telling me all the bad in that situation, she came across the desk and came over and hugged me because she knew the weight of the world had just been put on my shoulders and she wanted me to know that she was there to comfort me.
Both huge gray areas – both different responses – yet both of them taught me huge life lessons and what a great mother she has been.
As for me and my Mommying skills … they have also been put to the test and I’ve done what I think is best, but I will definitely not put words into my kids mouths on how they think I’ve done so far. I’m hoping for great, but perception is in the eyes of the beholder. I do have some amazingly sweet and kind love letters from my kids and my Mother’s Day journal is filled every year with everything a mother would want to hear, so I’ve got that going for me. But, the best thing I have is my daily chats with Heather Grace in our car ride home or in the big red swivel chairs in our kitchen. And the out of the blue text and phone calls with Beau while he is so busy with college and work – especially when he makes and special trip in town because he knows I miss him so much! This kids’ growing up and becoming their own adults thing is for the birds …
And that brings me to earlier when I said … I am Sorry to my Mom. The older my children become and the more they do things that I would’ve done growing, the more I want to call and tell my Mom “I’m Sorry” … Sorry for the attitude I had – sorry for the rolled eyes – sorry for not understanding what you were going through at the time – just sorry!
And just like when I told her the last 100 times (I think I’ve been saying I’m sorry since I was 20 and going to become a Mom myself) – ha ha – and probably when my kids get older and tell me “I’m Sorry”, I will have the same response … “Thank you.”
Thank you, not because as a Mom you think you deserve an “I’m sorry” – but Thank You for acknowledging it, owning it and realizing that your babies are growing up and going out on their own with a good heart.
To be the child and a parent, and to be even more blessed that there are still generations alive to be loved by and to learn from is such a blessing and one that I cherish. So, to all the Mom’s out there …
We are Sorry …
We Thank You …
And We Love You …
Side note: I will be sharing some personal family photos of some of the women who have mothered me over the years and left a lasting impact on my life. Feel free to check them out and share your photos with us over on Instagram and Facebook at FOR A LIFETIME.
Until Next Sunday …